So I've been a mom for approximately .2 seconds, or so it feels. 2 months really but man how did the time go by so fast? Obviously I don't have a ton of experience but I have certainly learned a few things already.
1) You can never truly know what it means to love someone unconditionally until you become a parent. You can certainly love your spouse or your parents or your siblings in something like unconditional love. You certainly love them in spite of what they might do or have done to inevitably hurt you, however, truly unconditional love can only really be understood when the person or thing you love truly can give you nothing in return for your love. In fact, instead of giving something to you, they almost are guaranteed to take from you, demand more of you and inconvenience you in ways you thought you never would be. When someone does that and all you can feel for them is pure love, that, at least in my understanding, is what unconditional really means. This is the way that God loves us, before we could offer Him anything, he chose to love us, in spite of the pain, inconvenience and demands that we would place on him as his creation, even to the place of pouring out the life of his own son to redeem us from our own rebellion, that I have realized can be understood most fully from the perspective of a parent.
2) I have learned the true meaning of sacrifice. I now wake in the middle of the night, and have for 2 months, at the slightest stir from my daughter to ensure that she is nourished and cared for. I am someone who really enjoys sleep. I have often told Rob that I think that there will still be sleep in heaven, not because we will need it but because it is just so enjoyable. I have never been an early bird or a night owl. I prefer to sleep from 10pm till 9am every day. And yet, I awake, joyfully at 5am to feed my daughter. If she has a rough night of sleep, I am there without hesitation to comfort her. I treasure the precious time I get to spend with her in the middle of the night, when she's sleepy and snuggly and I can just hug and kiss on her before I put her back down. I am also an avid shopper. Something my husband will never understand, I love to just browse and wander in a mall, looking at things and seeing if anything catches my eye. I don't need a purpose and I have always enjoyed being able to buy something for myself on a whim. Now, I debate whether or not I need something and give preference to getting something for Alythia rather than for myself. I have spent more time planning out the perfect room and selecting the best things for her than I have on anything else in my life. I love to care for her and provide for her, and one day when she is able to show a response to something I have done for her, that will be even greater for me. To see her face light up when she sees something her mommy has done for her, that will be one of my greatest joys.
3) I have learned that relationships do not maintain themselves, ever, but especially when children are in the picture. There are very few moments of just sitting down and talking, without something interrupting us. Marriage always takes work, but with every new addition, there are new distractions that make planning even more important. Now it is not simply planning for a date night or a fun getaway, we have to plan for intentional, inward facing conversation. If we don't, we can end up going for several days without really talking to each other. We may have spoken words, but real, heart to heart conversation requires planning. This also requires a new level of sacrifice because our first instinct so often is to finally get some sleep, or to check out something online that we have been wanting to read but have not had the time. Sadly our first instinct is not to seek out one another to connect with. This is certainly a big lesson for me and I am still working out how to best show my husband that he is still my number 1 priority on this earth.
4) I have learned that my preconceived ideas that being a mom/stay-at-home mom would be boring and mind numbing were way off base. I feel like I never sit down anymore. Even when Alythia is napping, there are things to do. Laundry to wash or fold, dishes to clean up, a meal to make, research to do, errands to run. I have no idea how all of this got done before she was around because I'm sure I had more down time then but I can't imagine how. As for not being mentally engaging, staying on top of how to teach your child and caring for them as well as keeping everything around the house in order, there is plenty of engaging things to keep my mind working. I think I may be more mentally engaged than I was even when I was working!
5) My greatest joy in the world truly is my family. I can think of nothing greater than to help them grow and to teach my child/children about the Lord. I never in a million years thought that I would be someone who felt fulfilled in caring for my family, but I have greater joy in caring for them and in doing my part to provide and nurture them than I have in anything else in my whole life. My fulfillment in school, a career, even my friendships, pales in comparison to the contentment and joy I have in taking care of my little family. Anyone who has known me for longer than a year should understand how radical this is for me. Never in my life did I think that I would feel this way, and yet look at how the Lord works. I am truly in awe of his perfect timing and gracious patience in teaching me.
Have you learned anything in the stage of life you're at that surprised you? Any insights you think might be helpful if you are a parent?
~Becky
Amazing what you've learned in such a short amount of time. It's only the beginning!
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